Korean Manners and Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts of First Meetings
First time meetings in Korea are not always as simple as “hello.” There’s a lot of times people might be offended. Find out the do’s and don’ts of Korean etiquette when meeting someone for the the first time!
Informal Settings
Courtesy of Dustin Cole
Do’s
If you’re meeting friends of friends, your internet penpal, or maybe even a few chaps at the pub, greeting etiquette in Korea is quite relaxed. Most informal settings only require a small, short bow and a smile. Hand waves to say hi or bye are also quite common (but are more casual). To make an even better impression, say hello in Korean. And… that’s about it. Sorry, there’s no secret handshake or codeword for picture perfect Korean manners in informal situations. Just be cool and smile, and other people will too.
Note:
These casual meetings are mostly true for younger Koreans. The older the person, the stricter the rules become. See “Formal Settings” below for more Korean etiquette tips.
Language Tip:
Hello in Korean is ์๋ ํ์ธ์ (annyeonghaseyo).
Source: Flickr
Don’ts
Hugs: Don’t hug someone you’ve just met for the first time. This also applies when saying goodbye. Even if you’ve just had the most spirit-kindling noraebang singing session, hugging might make things awkward. Although the culture around hugging is changing, hugging in Korea is generally reserved for couples or for close friends or family that are saying goodbye for a long while. Instead, if you want some skin, you can opt for the universally acceptable high-five ;).
Formal Settings
Do’s
Bow Hard:ย Formal settings can include meeting future parents in law, your child’s teacher, or even a blind date.ย The more serious the meeting (i.e. important business meeting, meeting future in-laws for the first time), the more respect should be shown. And in Korea, respect is all in the bow. Don’t give one of those casual nodding styleย bows you give to the convenience store lady. Make sure your bow is serving its purpose and that you’re putting in the effort (note: effort levels are often noticeable in bows).
Tip: Handshakes also commonly accompany bows. However, it’s more common for Korean men to offer a handshake than women.
Here’s Seoulistic’s video on When and How to Bow in Korea:
Titles and Names: When calling other people, Korean etiquette often dictates the use of titles instead of names. So rather than calling your father-in-law “Mr. Park,” the title ์๋ฒ์ง (abeoji – “father”) is more appropriate. Most of the time the titles are quite obvious (i.e. teachers, bosses, etc.). If you’re ever not sure what to call the other person, just ask! It’s not an uncommon question in Korea. If it’s an awkward question for you, pull someone else to the side and say, “Dude! What do I call him?!”
Courtesy of Dustin Cole
Drink (or Fake It): All that rigidness that’s built into the culture needs a bit of tweaking. And there’s no better social lubricant than booze. To those who enjoy the partaking of alcoholic beverages, this is wonderful news. To non-drinkers, it might result in a head-pounding makgeolli hangover the next day. If you’re not a fan of drinking, here’s a few tips:
โข Explain first that you’re not a fan of alcohol. In the past, you would be force-fed. But these days people are much more understanding.
โข Don’t finish your drink so you don’t get refills. In Korea, glasses are refilled when the glass is empty.
โข Drink the first glass, only. The first glass is the most important and it’s an expression that you are part of the group. You can also leave the first glass unfinished.
If you don’t want to drink at all (religious, personal reasons), just say so. Although drinking is part of the Korean culture (find out why drinking is so important here), people will understand.
Click next page for more cultural DOs and DONTs!
28 Comments
Hi,
how about a muslim which can’t consume alcohol. How do the korean see that & how to responds?
No problem! Just tell them you can’t for religious reasons ๐
What if you are allergic to alcohol.. if i even drink 1 shot of liquor or anything i end up throwing up. how do you convey that?
just tell them that you are allergic, you won’t be shunned
Thank you for this very informative post! So my question is, if you meet a new person and have nobody besides you whom you can ask what to call the person – what do you do? Ask the person directly what you should call him/her and be impolite for a small moment, not ask and be forever impolite or just call the person ์ ์๋?
I’ve been to Korea before and I experienced one situation like this. It was very difficult, especially since my Korean is not very good and the other person could not understand English at all (and was older than me).
So, if asking directly is possible and not too impolite because there’s no one else around – how would you ask in Korean?
And thank you for your wonderful and informative homepage – love it!
Lisa from Austria
Is it a must for a foreign female to bow to the ground when first met Korean guy’s parents?
No that’s a bit too much. That’s reserved for only special circumstances (i.e. funerals, new years, etc.)
Do Korean parents find it offensive if you bow to them when greeting even if you’re from another origin?
Not offensive at all. In fact, it would probably even be appreciated!
This is really informative! Just one question: My boyfriend wants me to meet his parents. Could you describe what to do when a foreign girl meets a Korean guy’s parents for the first time?
deez nutz
they will get offended mate
Thanks for the information. My wife and I are close with a young Korean girl, and she is bringing her new husband (and baby) to the US so her husband can meet us. He hasn’t been to the US before. How do we greet him upon arrival? I am much older than him. Do I bow?
Hi Joe. It sounds pretty informal. A handshake is probably good enough ๐ He’ll probably reach with two hands to shake your hand, I’d recommend you to do the same — it’ll show your initial respect as you’re meeting for the first time.
I think he has to act like American because he is in America
Hi!
I have a couple of questions regarding greetings. My family and I are letting a 16 year old South Korean boy live in our home as part of a language exchange for 12 months. The understanding on both sides is that he’ll be treated as part of the family (as a son and sibling).
When we go to pick him up at the airport, how do my parents greet him (obviously them being far older than him)? How does my brother greet him (younger)? And how do I greet him? I’m 3 months younger than him. And for my parents, are hugs acceptable at all? Or should we all just stick to a handshake? Thanks for your reply ๐
I just hugged a Korean from a small Korean town and it was super awkward. Do I need to apologise? I just meant to wish new year as she is my neighbor.
I am attending a korea corporate forum, with seating assignd, is it rude to leave early?
Hello Kim,
Great article. I want to know how I should say Hello to my professor.
Is it “anyoung haseyo” or โanyoung hashimnikka”?
Thanks lot!!!
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facts, thanks for providing these kinds of information.
I was wondering about a few things that were not addressed here. I’m going to be applying to teach English in South Korea, so it’s very important to me to learn at least a few things I can do to ensure that I’m seen as polite, and not at risk of getting kicked out.
First, do I have to specify which Korea I’m talking about, or is it just Korea?
Second, are tattoos acceptable, for foreigners or otherwise? I only have one, and it’s very easily hidden, but I know that they really are not seen as a positive thing in Japan. I am still learning about Korean culture.
I’m just trying to learn as much as I can before I apply. I really sunk all expectations into teaching first in Japan, but that is not currently a possibility, so I thought Korea would be the best place to try instead based on what I have heard about the country.
Im a 16 year old girl meeting my boyfriends Family…
How do I greet his father?
Yet, would it be rude to hug his mother?
My name may be Korean but im a American.
What wil most Korean think about that, for im staying there till end of september…
What will most students think of my apearance?
and thank you for the information, it really helps.
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I enjoy a good fart my question is, should I lift my leg to blow one off or just simply squeeze my butt cheeks?
Hahaha, maybe cough at the same time as you fart hopefully no one hears it, and definitely donโt fart at the same time as you bow. Better yet you should probably excuse yourself and go outside or to a restroom before blowing one off. Respect is huge in Korea. Maybe try to remember that.
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